11 posts tagged “work”

With a proper shout out to Double S!  Let's go back to the zoo!

And of course, I couldn't use that title without the appropriate props to Mr. Bridges with his fine ass self.

If this weekend had only had one day, Saturday really would have been the one that was enough to fill up the whole weekend for me. :-)

Sit back and enjoy the recap.

• We got up a little on the late side and skipped our usual weekend breakfast of Sergio's because we had some coupons for Burger King.  Yeah, they're on my shit list now too.  First, don't put the lady that doesn't speak English on drive thru, please.  Whatever if you haven't learned English yet.  Good on ya for getting a job, but not one where I need to order food and I prefer to do it in ENGLISH!  Second, please give me the food that I ordered.  If I ask for two orders of cheesey tots, I want two orders.  And three coffees.  Yes, I paid for three, here's my receipt.  Grrrr.  Oh, and if it isn't too much trouble, how about you put the lids on the coffee cups so that a medium coffee doesn't decide to empty itself on the floor of the passenger side of my car.  Thanks!  (Thank goodness for Scotchgard or whatever the heck is on both my mats and carpet because that coffee came out like it never even happened!  Woot!)
• It gets better and not in a sarcastic way. 
• Lovey and I scored some tickets to go see UM (Hurricanes) play BC (Eagles) at the Bank United Center.  It's probably 15 minutes by car but it was super nice out so we decided to ride our bikes over.  It took about 35 minutes to get there but then we didn't have to deal with traffic or pay for parking so double bonus.  Triple bonus was that our seats were right behind the players' "bench" (it was a bunch of folding chairs).  I'm not a huge basketball fan, but it was a great game.  UM won.  And I got a kiss, or that's what I thought it was when his beak engulfed my head, from Sebastian because as everyone was mobbing the poor guy for photos, I saw his Gatorade cup was empty and offered to get him another.  Being a mascot is tough.  Been there, done that.
• We had a leisurely bike ride back to the house.  Now my bum is sore from my bike seat.  The horror!
• This may get confusing in a moment....
• Lovey's BFF, JP, is starting a business with some people that he works with/used to work with.  I don't know both of the guys, but I did meet JM previously as he is also a Steelers fan and is from the Pittsburgh area.  I am going to do a little website stuff for JP's business (Lord grant me the strength!).  In the meantime, JM knows of someone back home that has a website but wants something better.  JM and JP mention that they know someone that might be able to help them out (yours truly) and to give them the link to their site and some others that they like.  No problem. 
• JP stopped by on Saturday to discuss the look and feel for their site and at that time, forwarded me the email with the other place's info.  My jaw fell.  I opened the link to be sure and sure enough, I know the people from back home that need the website.  I've bought car parts from them.  BruddaShyner used to WORK there!  So of course, I have to text BruddaShyner to ask him if he knows JM.  He texts me back saying that he does and JM is in Miami now.  HA!  BruddaShyner not only knows JM, but he also knows JM's dad.  Funny how I have to move a thousand miles away to do a website for people who were five miles away from the house where I grew up.
• The world is soooooo small.

I have just under 5 tons of work to do now.  I'm not overwhelmed but I really do have to get organized.  And motivated.

Feel free to kick me in the ass if you see me dilly-dallying.

And why is that?  Because I'm taking the day off tomorrow.  You know why?  Cuz I can.  It's our pseudo-celebration of finishing this friggin Associates degree.  And now that I've had a week off, I really must jump back into studying.  Even my horoscope says so!

Money which you may have been working to earn for a long time may finally come your way today, MiamiShyner. Don't be surprised, however, if you have to do a lot of running around in order to get it! Plans for future moneymaking projects may come your way, though it is important to remember to consider everything carefully and not jump in too quickly. This is an excellent time to start learning a new moneymaking skill. Go for it!

First sentence: I have my annual review today.  I technically got promoted about six months ago without the pay raise to go with it.  I'm hoping this means that I'll actually be getting a raise. 

Second sentence: I've been running around for the last six months.

Third sentence: I don't know yet.  Maybe something REALLY interesting will come up today. (btw, keep your fingers crossed for good juju at 10:30am EST please)

Last sentence: Go forth and LEARN!  PHP is first, then I think I'll try to tackle some SQL.  If you could see my bookshelf you'd think I'm a computer programming genius, but alas, I am not.  I really gotta get moving on being more proficient in at least one area.

It's self-portrait Thursday, so here's a picture of me because I think I'm cute today.

Me

6 comments

Have a great day everyone!!

That's me.  Well, Work, you've finally done it.

You have sucked every last drop of soul out of my body.  There is no enjoyment left in anything for me anymore.  I have been reduced to two emotions: anger and despondency.  That's all I have left.

I hope that you're happy because I certainly am not.  I've tried and tried to not let you seep into my home life, but the seed of disgust that you have planted has sprouted and has just plain taken over.

MommaShyner thinks I'm gonna have a heart attack before I'm 40 because of you, Work.  She's probably right.

I'm trying really hard to get away from you and your dark evilness, but you know as well as I do that the economy licks donkey balls right now and opportunities are just not there.

You think I enjoy sitting at my desk holding back tears of frustration and disgust all day?  How long do you think it'll be before I snap?  Got a pool on that one, Work?  If you do, let me see it and I'll at least make sure that someone I like wins it.

OMG. STFU. Work, you really and truly suck.

Why would I make such claims you might ask?  Maybe this is best explained in bullet points.

First, though, let me say that it's okay to laugh.  Yeah, I'm mad but I'm also laughing.

• Today in our office it is 10 degrees below zero.  Which is 10 degrees colder than usual.  My sweater means nothing today.
• Storms are rolling in and out like crazy.
• I am on a diet.  But sometimes, I just need some junk food.  Today happened to be one of those days.  It was dark out, but it was not raining.  I jetted across the street to McDonalds.  If I'm gonna splurge, I'm going big.  So, gimme a number 2 (QPC meal) and oh yeah, let me have a Key Lime pie too.  Yeah, it's piggish but I've had practically nothing but Weight Watchers food for three weeks now.  Money handed over and back to the office I go.  But guess what, now it's raining and raining hard.  I pick up the pace a bit.  All of a sudden, my bag seems a little lighter.  Why?  WHY?  WTF?!?!?  The bottom fell out of the bag placing my french fries, QPC, ATM card, telephone and Key Lime pie on the ground in a puddle.  My exact reaction?
• MOTHERFUCKER!!  The bums standing around loved that one.
• Bums were kind enough to pick it up and silly enough to ask me if I was gonna eat that.  Are you kidding me?!?!  People piss on these streets and this little bit of rain isn't enough to clean it up. I don't care if it's still in the box, it's in a PUDDLE!
• $7 down the drain.  Literally.
• Now I'm back in the office - cold, wet, and without my junk food, eating what?  You guessed it, another Weight Watchers meal.

Life's a bitch and then the universe grabs the bottom of your Mickey D's bag.

But there will be no ROCO because I'm just not feeling it.  You may want to just skip over this post altogether because it will be full of things that I just need to get out there.

• I believe that 3 years is a decent amount of time to give something a try.  That said, Miami sucks.  No matter what you've seen on television, that's television, and living here, well, as PittGirl would say, is church. (Thanks for the shout.)
• Getting this piece of paper has become ridiculously important.  It signifies more knowledge, more money, and more distance between me and south Florida.
• <sarcasm> There is nothing more encouraging than a supervisor questioning your clothing choice of the day (that has been worn on many occasion previously) and stating, with an air of hopefulness in his/her voice, that you look as though you may have an interview today.  </sarcasm>
• I am dieting and it sucks.  Why am I dieting?  Because it is incorrect for a woman of 5 feet and 1.5 inches to weigh 140 pounds.  Three weeks in and I have lost almost 9 pounds.  That does not suck.
• Possibly because of dieting, I have recently started forgetting things and have lost my ability to focus, even on things that I enjoy.  This is bad.
• I now have two gray hairs.  At least they aren't visible.
• Steve Jobs is the devil and on July 11, I will become one of his minions.
• In four weeks and one day, I will be toasting the beginning of vacation.  Parrot Bay and mango/pineapples all around.
• I have a book rolling around in my head and I hope to push it out soon.  It is taking up too much space.  I think it's a good I'm-on-vacation-sitting-at-the-beach/pool-and-I-want-to-read-but-not-think kind of book.
• Is it football season yet?!?!  No?  Well, in the meantime, go Marlins, I guess.
• Does ANYONE think that I am coherent when I write?
• The weekend is nearly upon us and guess what fun I have in store!  Nothing like cleaning the house, eh?
• Oh, by the way, how does one tell if one is depressed?
• I am a crappy friend because I neglected to call one of my very best friends on his 30th birthday.  My bad, Ant.  Here's a shout out for your biz.  If you live in the New Jersey or five boroughs, you should stop by and give that a shot.  If you are female, even more so because the boys are eye candy.
• I miss my friends who "get me" and let me be me.  True friends are still your friends the day after you DDT them onto a concrete floor in a bar in Mexico.
• Ohhhhh, almost forgot this gem.  Kiddo's father, possibly one of THE biggest asshats moving around on two feet, had the nerve audacity balls non-functioning brain notion that I would add him as a friend on Facebook.  HAHAHAHA.  Just for kicks, I looked at his friends list.  Know what it said?  Dxxxx Kxxxxx has no friends.  Well, DUH!
• Mmm, right.  Celebrity Circus on NBC.  I have yet to watch the full episode but from the first three acts, well, not so much.  I've seen (and taught) children to do more in a week.
• I MISS MY CIRCUS STUFF!

You know, I've rambled on long enough regarding things that you, dear reader, aren't so interested in.  I leave you with wishes for a happy weekend.  Shyne on.

I was asked to find out how to use a certain function on one of our office multifunction copiers.  Since we have a copy center that is responsible for said machine, I thought that they would be the best source of information.  WRONG!

I approached them and explained what I wanted to the first gentleman.  He studied me with a quizzical look upon his face and then told me to "Wait one minee" while his co-worker arrived to help me.  A pleasant "how can I help you" later and I've re-explained what it is that I need.  I received yet another confused look.  I thought that maybe I wasn't properly explaining myself and so I tried a different explanation.  Nope, no dice. Mind you, these people work for the freaking copy center.  They are in charge of every printer in the building (almost)!  The ones that they are in charge of are all the same brand and you don't know how to make them work?!?!

His resolution: "There's a manual located behind the machine" and he was kind enough to show me where it would be on my machine by pulling one out from the machine closest to him.

GIVE. ME. A. BREAK!!!

My resolution: Fiddle around with the settings until I figure it out.  Yeah, I figured it out.  I pwn IKON and CANON!  HA!

Some days are spent in an eternal click-clacking climb up the first hill.  Some days are a hands-up, no seat belt freefall down the biggest slope on the ride.

Things have been so random lately.  Not necessarily random bad, just random.

School started.  Lovey's teacher is normal.  Mine is, well, not.  I feel bad for people in the class who weren't able to attend the live chat because if they just go by what the assignment says, they'll be lucky to sqeak by with a C.  She wants so much more than it says.  I'll just be fortunate that I was able to attend.

Kiddo's bus driver got lost yesterday.  They apparently have a problem hiring and keeping drivers.  The driver got mad at the kids for, I guess being kids, and called the cops.  Kiddo watched two of her FEMALE friends (no more than 14 years old, good students, good kids in general) get HANDCUFFED and put in the police car and driven away.  Is it just me or is this ridiculous?  Those were city cops, by the way.  A "school police" officer was there also.  He was still there when I arrived at 5:20 when Kiddo is usually at home no later than 4:45.  I politely asked him what I needed to do to get my child out of this situation.  His brilliant response complete with stupid facial expression? "Uh, tell her to get off the bus."  Thank you!  My tax dollars hard at work.  By the way, school lets out at 3:40 so nearly two hours of drama and trauma.

Things are not all bad.  I still have a job, albeit one that I do not love.  I cannot even go into what transpired today alone to make me feel this way, but suffice it to say that I have to deal with things that are ridiculous.

I still got paid last Friday.  I will still (hopefully) receive a bonus this Friday.  I will still receive my tax-free loan repayment from Uncle Sam before the middle of next week.

My mother called me and in her random way tells me the story of how her husband's great-grandfather used to be the president of the country he is from (not this one, lol).  He had land that the government seized and built a rather large facility on.  There seems to be some sort of settlement for the family to the tune of a large chunk of change.  I don't know why she is telling me this.  I refuse to get my hopes up that I will finally "hit the lottery" and be relieved of working because I have to and be allowed to work if, when, and where I want to.

The Florida lottery is up to 20 million dollars.  Yes, I will blow 10 dollars that could be used for better good and buy tickets.

(Sorry guys) I have an appointment with my GYN today.  I'm hoping he can explain a few things like why my last few periods have been excrutiating when I've never had a problem with them before, why I wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat when the air is at 64 and I'm naked, and why I have a declining drive.  Perimenopause anyone?  Wonderful, no?  I'm only 34 dammit.

Speaking of getting old, I was listening to Sirius and they were playing Sweet Child O' Mine (Gunners).  I looked at the station and it was Classic Rewind.  CLASSIC REWIND!  After I was insulted, I realized that the song is nearly 20 years old.  How's that for a slap in the face?

Still, with all this, I love my life.  I love that I have family who cares.  My extended family cares (Lovey's family).  I love that my brother is all kinds of wacky but he's true to himself and to BMX racing.  I love that I have a job that pays me a stupid amount of money even though I put up with some dumb shit.  I love that I have the opportunity to go back to school and get a degree in something that actually interests me.  I love that our family trio has our health.  I love that we have a roof over our heads, even if it's in a city that I can't stand.

I love that you will listen to this and not tell me how silly I am.

I'm sitting here at my desk at work and I receive an email from someone here in the company that I don't recognize.  It was obviously sent to many people.  The email went something like this:

Your mission, should you choose to accept, is to report to the 5th floor to pick up a package.  We cannot tell you what is in the package, you must pick it up yourself to find out.  The codeword is "Service Award".

I was slightly confused by this little note.  Not only by its level of vagueness, but by the fact that today, or this month, or even this year is nothing special.  I started through a temp agency on 1/4/06 and was hired on permanently on 4/13/06.  Seeing as how I just can't stand to not know things, I chose to accept the mission.

I went into stealth mode and took the silent (but deadly) route to the 5th floor.  I dodged cleaning crew to get there, but I made it.  Under the cover of florescent lights, I gave the codeword and received my package.  I left the dungeon of doom to return to the sanctuary that is my desk.  I now have in my hands two things: a small, flat, white container approximate 5" by 6" and a slightly larger black container measuring 7" by 4" by 5".  I decide that good things come in small packages (quite like myself) and open the white container first.  It is a card.  I open it and to my surprise it reads like this:

Dear MiamiShyner,

Warmest congratulations on your 1st year Anniversary with Company XYZ!  Your dedication and commitment are an important part of our success.

We wish you health, happiness and continued success in the years to come!

XYZ Corporation - 2007

Right about now, you may be thinking the same thing that I was thinking as I read those words: Did I forget how to do math?  I mean, I know that I'm not a "degreed professional" but I can still do the easy stuff like add.

The second container had a one year anniversary pin and a lovely pen set.  Super!  Man I am one ungrateful bitch.

If you're a slave to corporate America, you know that it's just about that time of year for reviews and (hopefully) raises.  While perusing the net this morning, I found this well-crafted letter that I'm sure many people would just LOVE to give to their bosses.  Enjoy! (This letter and other gems can be found here.

One cup of coffee

Followed by one cup of tea

Pardon me, must pee