15 posts tagged “roco friday”

As in this video that YouTube doesn't allow to be embedded but I think Daily Motion does:

When I was growing up, my mother and I LOVED this song.  It was just so cool and so funny and probably so true. (It was 1986, gimme a break, huh?)  So let's see what Mr. Jones has to say for himself:

Tossing and turning another sleepless night
The rain crashes against my window pane
Jumped into my car didn't drive too far
That moment I knew I would never be the same.

Now here you are begging to me
To give our love another try
Girl I love you and I always will
But darling right now I've got to say goodbye
'Cause

I saw you (and him) walking in the rain
You were holding hands and I'll never be the same.

POINT #1:  As the song continues, you'll be able to appreciate Mr. Jones' actions and reactions regarding the alleged incident.

(I saw you)
Hey hey baby how ya doin' come on in here
(Walking in the rain)
Got some hot chocolate on the stove waiting for you
Listen first things first let me hang up the coat

What a gentleman!

(You were holding hands and I'll)
Yeah how was your day today
Did you miss me
(Never be the same)
You did? Yeah? I missed you too
I missed you so much I followed you today

Oops, turned stalker

(I saw you)
That's right now close your mouth
'Cause you cold busted
(Walking in the rain)
Now just sit down here, sit down here
I'm so upset with you I don't know what to do
(You were holding hands and I'll)
You know my first impulse was to run up on you
And do a Rambo
(Never be the same)
I was about to jam you and flat blast both of you
But I didn't wanna mess up this thirty-seven hundred dollar lynx coat
So instead I chilled -- That's right chilled

See, why can't we do this in current times?  No shootingkilling/stabbing.  Just chilling!

I called up the bank and took out every dime.
Than I cancelled all your credit cards...
I stuck you up for every piece of jewelery I ever bought you!
Don't go lookin' in that closet 'cause everything you came here with is
packed up and waiting for you in the guest room. What were you
thinking?
You don't mess with the Juice!
I gave you silk suits, blue diamonds and Gucci handbags.
I gave you things you couldn't even pronounce!
But now I can't give you nothing but advice.

Classic lines begin in 3....2....1....

Cause you're still young, yeah, you're young.
And you're gonna find somebody like me one of these days . . .
Until then, you know what you gotta do?
You gotta get on outta here with that alley-cat-coat-wearing,
punch-bucket-shoe-wearing crumbcake I saw you with. Cause you
dismissed!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  I would use these lines.

That's right, Silly rabbit, tricks are made for kids, don't you know
that. You without me is like corn flakes without the milk! This is my
world. You're just a squirrel trying to get a nut! Now get on outta
here. Scat!
Don't touch that coat...

If this doesn't make you smile, then I really don't know what will.  And it's Friday, so I'm all about some smiles.

By the way, do you know what else?  I ran three whole miles without stopping this morning.  I am well on my way to running my first 5K. My goal is to finish the 5K in 20 minutes.  This morning, I did the 3 miles in 25.  So I need .1 more mile in 5 less minutes.  I can do this!

Last but not least, as the good Reverend Miamishyner is out and abouts and I'm just filling in for her today, let the congregation say:

ROCO!!

Have a great weekend folks!

After a long hiatus, the Reverend MiamiShyner has returned to her flock to once again spread the message of ROCO Fridays. <cue music>

Let us reacquaint ourselves, shall we?

Please turn in your hymnals to page 305 for responsive reading.

Rev: And as your boss sayeth unto you, "Can you stay late today?"  Let us respond with a phrase fitting the Sweathogs...

Congregation: Up your nose with a rubber hose!

Rev: ROCO!  And whosoever wishes to leave early today shall make it known to all.

Congregation: *hands raised energetically* Oooh!  Oooh!  Oooh! 

Rev: And should that one annoying co-worker request that you do his/her work before you leave, the congregation shall say..

Congregation: Off my case, toilet face.

Rev: Let the congregation say...

All: ROCO!

Today, on a day when our President has won the Nobel Peace Prize, when we have crashed a missile into the moon, when it's freezing in Corporate America, we still must give thanks for all we've been blessed to have.  Your Reverend is learning to take one day at a time and to enjoy each and every one of those days.  Rev MS is spending her last several months in Miami doing some things for herself and she suggests that you do the same be it in Miami or Moscow, Pittsburgh or Portland.

And now, because I know that we all have things to do, I will wrap up today's sermon.  Take this good word and go forth and ROCO! <cue exit hymn>

*congregation rises*
*Reverend walks to the back of the church*

Let the congregation say ROCO!

*Rev MS stands at the back of the church shaking hands and kissing the babies of the congregation.*

Chicken and biscuits with gravy and mashed are downstairs.  Don't forget to try Sister Kiddo's sweet potato pie!

Well, well, well, my good people of the ROCO congregation.  It's been a while since I've heard the mighty collective voice ring out, so say it loud and say it proud...

ROCO!!

And now that the good Reverend MiamiShyner can see all of you in the back row due to the wonder of contacts, I expect to see you more often.  Not just on holidays!  You know who you are! :-P

Let's suppose that you are a Congresswoman. (Ileana Ros-Lethtinen) And your constituents are of an area where radio folk like to play pranks.(Miami)  What do you do when someone calls you claiming to be a soon-to-be high-ranking official? (Barack Obama)  Well, of course, you HANG UP ON HIM!  Ha!  Gotta love that one.

Wisdom has just been passed along to me.  This message of sure genius is as follows:

Bacon = Meat candy

Mmmm, bacon.

This is my last lazy ROCO Friday because I got clearance to do light cardio...and to buy naughty bits from Vickie's.  Life is good.

Tomorrow is Cirque day finally!  But no, I'm not excited or anything.  And I'm totally not already thinking about the next show that's coming in May and when I'll be able to afford to buy those tickets.  Nope, not thinking about that at all.

Well, my good people, I know that no one likes when the preacher goes on for too long, so let me close the sermon and move to the back so that I can shake hands and kiss babies (with gloves and a mask..I don't want your cooties).

I'm glad that you could join me and I look forward to seeing you next week.  Let the congregation say ROCO!

And remember, there is no confession for doing bad in this church, only for not living life full-out, balls to the wall.  Go out and spread the word!

Word to the herd!

Er, um, good morning to the congregation.  It's your Reverend MiamiShyner, checking in with you and making sure that you're still spreading the word of ROCO.  Own it people, own it!  Here are a few rambles for you:

• With Tropical Storm Hanna possibly coming our way, but possibly making a turn to the south, I informed Kiddo that she may get to experience her first hurricane.  Her response: "on my BIRTHDAY WEEKEND?!?!'  Ha.
• Speaking of Kiddo, I may have previously mentioned that she has the worst posture on earth.  I tell her to stop slouching all of the time, but to no real avail.  Why am I telling you this?  Because....
• Last night in the shower (because that's where all important conversations take place), I was telling Lovey that the Wii Fit checks your center of balance.  Here I thought that I was standing up straight all this time, but it turns out that I lean back (Fat Joe) and put most of my weight on my heels rather than distributing evenly.  Lovey said that he's known that about me forever and so I asked him why he never said anything.  He said that he's told me on many occasions, of which I remember none.  Now I must make a conscious effort to distribute.  I wondered aloud what it might look like if Kiddo got on.  Lovey said that the screen might say something like this:
• ERROR!  ERROR!
• We are meany bo-beanies.
• MommaShyner's in town, yo!  We're going out to lunch today and we're gonna go whoop ass at the bingo hall tomorrow night.  I luuuurve me some MommaShyner.
• Last night was the first time that I listened to an Obama speech.  It was late (for me) so I may have missed some parts due to dozing off.  Things that I did catch that I liked:
• Eight is ENOUGH!
• This election is not about me, it's about you!
• Huh, you know, there were other things, but they've just escaped me.
• McCain chose the Governor of Alaska as a running mate.  I really don't follow politics so I know nothing about this woman.  My unpolitical, uneducated, off the cuff response is that she is the choice because she is a woman and he wants to do something unprecedented to keep up with Obama.  JUST.  MY.  OPINION.  Don't freak out over it.  Kthxbai!
• MommaShyner and I discussed our (hopefully irrational) fears that there will be way too many assassination attempts while watching the final of Shear Genius.  I completely disagree with their choice for the winner, even though she's from Miami Beach.  Then again, what do I know about ya'll's hair?  I personally don't do anything with mine outside of washing and some occasional moisturizing.
• The last few days have been rough on my right knee.  I am slightly worried that I will eventually have to do something about it.  This knee was injured many, many moons ago and never got any treatment.  It's acting up again.  I am trying to tell myself that it does not hurt.  That works a lot so I think that the pain is mostly in my head.

I suppose that I've chewed your virtual ear for long enough now.  Wishing you all the ROCO-iest of long weekends.  Spread the word, spread the love.

Just ROCO, ok?

Have a great weekend too. :-)

The windows of the church are open and a lovely summer breeze is blowing through.  Sun shines through every window of the house.  The church and its occupants feel renewed, particularly the Reverend.

Long May You Run

I think a little relaxing Neil Young is appropriate for this morning that we have gathered together in the new house of ROCO.  The good Reverend is a little happy, a little relaxed and a little ready to lead her congregation into the weekend.  Let the congregation say, ROCO!

Today, my good people, I wish to extoll the virtues of paying an extra couple bucks for lifetime servicing.  Two years ago, I had to purchase new tires for my used car.  Said car was a gift (thanks be to MommaShyner's husband).  So, the Green Machine's got some 17' wheels on it, yeah, rims too.  She looks so nice when she's clean, but I digress.  When I purchased the tires, they added on the lifetime service.  Any time I got a nail in it, or got a flat or anything like that, I just roll on up to Tire Kingdom and voila, it's fixed.  Well, yesterday on the way home from work, I felt the car was driving a little funny.  And when I drove over one of those little reflectors in the middle while changing lanes and heard a hellacious thump, I knew that something was wrong.  At my earliest opportunity, I pulled over to find that, indeed, my tire was darn near flat.  I limped over to Tire Kingdom and asked them to fill 'er up.  That's when we saw a big 'ole sliver of silver something or another sticking out of my tire. WAH!  But, at no charge to me but my time, my tire is fixed and the Green Machine is rolling once again.  Hallelujah!  And ROCO!

Summer is upon us.  Now is the time for the ROCO congregation to go out and gather more folks for the flock.  Spread the love, spread the word!  ROCO for everyone!

Speaking of summer, welcome to it.  Get a pedi then get your flip-flops out.  Don't wear socks and sandals.  If you do, you will be ridiculed by the congregation.  Go to the beach!  Wear sunscreen.  Sunshine on your shoulders really does make you happy....oh the fun I've had with that one.

It's time for BBQs and fireworks, ribs and beer, chicken and waffles (WHAT?!?!) and all that summer stuff.

It's time for wing cookoffs and bar crawls.  Pray for me tomorrow evening please.

It's time to love yourself and love your neighbor.  It's time to gather your friends and family and let them know that it's okay.  It's certainly okay to ROCO!

So, on this summery Friday, on this payday for some, on this day where I have cake even though I'm supposed to be on a diet, on this day where I'm doing what I do best (procrastinating), I want to gather the flock in close and let you all know that I appreciate you joining me here in Fridays.  Without you, I am just one and one alone cannot properly rock out. 

With that, I am going to close today's sermon.  Take with you the love and spread it ROCO-style.

First, let me say that, yes, just yesterday, I said I was taking a Vox hiatus.  I am still taking that hiatus but it is unfair to the congregation to leave them without a leader since I got them all riled up so here I am.

Let the congregation say: ROCO!

Do they do that in other churches?  You know, have the pastor read while the congregation reads along and responds as it is written or is that just the Baptists?  At any rate, ROCO!

Well, my people, let's get on with the announcements.  Today they'll be read by Sister Idadi (if she doesn't mind).

<Idadi does a roundoff back handspring to the pulpit.>

Good day members of the ROCO congregation.

<congregation replies in kind>

As you know, the Reverend has been having some interesting times that nearly took her away from the flock, but we are happy to say that, at least for church, she will be staying with us.

<Weeeeeelllllll>

We are proud to announce that the Reverend, who has a full time job when not doing the work of the ROCO community, has received a promotion.  She is moving up the white devil also known as the corporate ladder (sorta) from department paper pusher/whipping bitch to company-wide whipping bitch aka Help Desk/Junior Business Analyst.

<AMEN!  Tell it!>

In other ROCO business, all members of the community are encouraged to bring a friend to church next week because the Reverend is a comment whore.

<snickers among the congregation>

That's all we have for this week.

Thank you, Sister Idadi.

Let us move on to tithing.  The ROCO congregation is all about helping each other and others not so fortunate.  Please give freely of your time and of yourself for a time may come when it is you that needs help.

<Mmmmmmmmm>

As CNN just came on, please, let us take a moment to direct our thoughts to New York, the site of a crane collapse this morning wherein two people have been injured, possibly losing their lives at the corner of 91st and 1st Streets.

<    >

The ROCO congregation would never make light of such a tragedy, but we must move on, although our hearts are slightly heavier.

We have no sermon today, just thoughts.  Thoughts such as:

• When leaving the house, make sure that you didn't leave your wallet in your Lovey's truck, hence leaving you without ID, money, plastic and leaving you with the sinking feeling that you lost your wallet and have to cancel your credit cards until you realize that it's in your Lovey's truck.
• A clean house is a happy house.  Take it from me and my newly cleaned house. (One room to go minus Kiddo's.  Teenagers live in funk.)
• Gaining 10 pounds in 2 months is simple.  Losing 10 pounds in 1 month is way harder.  Lesson learned.
• Online group projects really suck.
• MiamiShyner (not the Rev. MS) will probably return to regular blogging during her vacation to the Keys that begins in 42 days, although it could be sooner.  Hallelujah!
• Live rock is awesome and sorely lacking in Miami.
• Spam emails with the subject "You look really stupid MiamiShyner" are crappy!  I don't care if it's spam, quit saying mean stuff!
• Have the best possible weekend.  Remember that the little things are just that, little things.
• Most importantly, ROCO!!

Peace out to the congregation!  I'm shaking hands at the door.  Please step out into the vestibule, take the stairs down to the kitchen, and enjoy some refreshments.  We were told that there would be punch and pie and punch (grape Kool-aid) and pie (peach cobbler) there is!

Word 'em up to the ROCO congregation!

We have reached the pinnacle (that means I reign supreme, I'm notorious I'll crush you like a jellybean.  I'm bad.) of the week.  The day that signifies the end of work and the beginning of alcohol.  Yes, my people, it is Friday.

More Cowbell 2.0!

First and foremost, because I care about my flock, please be careful if you are hitting the roadways this weekend.  Don't drink and drive or do anything else that might cause you to not get to ROCO church next Friday.  We want to grow the congregation, not thin it out.

Now, more cowbell!  This ROCO Friday, let us celebrate, rather than let it grate on our nerves, that little sound in the background that is always there but we usually ignore.  Bring it to the front like a prominent shape in Photoshop (or Visio, the devil's work).  Ring it loud and ring it proud!

Reverend Miami Shyner would like to take a moment to send thoughts and prayers to our brave men and women of the military.  To those who gave their lives in honor of our country so that we (the general we) can live in this, the land of freedom, of choices, of opportunity.  I salute you. 

Long weekend. Hooooooooooooooo! ROCO!

I hope that you all have plans for an awesome holiday weekend.  Just remember that anything worth doing is worth doing ROCO-Style.  The 1230 Congregation plans the typical Saturday night at a new bar this week though and then a trip to Key Largo on Monday with the Trav's.

I hope that more cowbell is stuck in your head for the entire day.  I hope that I win the lottery tomorrow.  I hope I come up with an idea that'll make me a millionaire.  I hope that you're still reading this.  And if you are, and you go to a BBQ over this weekend, I hope you remember this:

Big ups to Natalie Dee for the toonage.

Have a great weekend all!  ROCO!!