Well well, my lovlies. I have returned, in one piece and no worse for wear from the trip to Honduras. I will split it up into pieces as I am as long-winded as they come. There are pictures galore but they have yet to be uploaded and they'll probably go straight to Flickr anyways. On with the show!
We were up early on Thursday morning as our flight was at 11 something and being international, we figured we had best get there on time. Left the house at about 7 am and picked up another of the wedding party, IM, and headed al aeropuerto.
Upon arrival at the airport, we find utter chaos. American Airlines had their heads in their arses and had lines that snaked from one end of the terminal to the other. There were actually a group of kids from Kiddo's school in our line. This is where deciding to have breakfast at the airport became a bad idea. We stood in line for a good two hours before we got checked in. Meanwhile, people who showed up late to the airport somehow got in before us. BITTER!
Finally checked in, we immediately hit the greasiest thing we could find...Burger King. We were hoping for cheesy tots, but they didn't have them there so we had sammiches and tots and juice instead. Ah yes, checked in, but not through security yet.
As MIA is naturally a clusterfoob, security was a nightmare. For some reason, they had five lines converge into two to get your carry-on x-rayed and to walk through the metal detector. We were on-point without our laptops to hold us up this time. People around us, not so much. Seriously, how long has the rule been in effect that you can't take liquids? Why did the lady somewhat in front of us try to go through with an entire bottle of water and a frappucino from Starbucks (untouched). Yes, we laughed when she had to throw it away.
The guy that was "directing traffic" was pretty funny. He kept telling us that you couldn't have liquids and "sorry to bust your bubble, but you can't bring x, y, and z through here" and a bunch of other stuff that kept us giggling in the line. Poor guy, he must have been so tired of the SSDD.
It was 5pm somewhere so a frosty beverage was called for. Nothing like a mojito (minus the mint, I know that makes it not a mojito, I was a bartender for pete's sake) at 10:30 to get the juices flowing.
The actual plane ride was uneventful. Just a lot of loud giggling between all of us. Btw, all of us is me, Lovey, IM, the groom, the maid of honor, her hubby, groom's mom and stepdad, groom's dad, bride's dad, groom's sister, groom's neice.
We were prepared for the scariest landing ever in Tegulcigalpa, but it really wasn't as bad as people portrayed it to be. I have it on video so look for it later.
Yup, landed and greeted by the bride and bride's mom among others. Hey, hey! Guess what? They neglected to put our luggage on the plane in Miami! Yeah, crappy. Someone is irate but I don't really care as much because hey, it's a reason to go shopping. Turns out that our luggage will now not arrive until 24 hours later when the next flight arrives from Miami. Oh, the fun.
We get checked in to the hotel and YUMMYLICIOUS! I love a squishy king bed and a view of the pool and a huge tub with the rain thingy shower head! Let's not forget mini-bar and television with a million channels that I can't understand.
It's time for lunch and so we head over with the whole group to a Mexican restaurant across the way. Holy smokes, delicious! They bring out these four long trays of meat with all kinds of fixins and tortillas and we stuff ourselves silly with steak and beer. Honduras has great beer! Salva Vida and Port Royal are my favorites. After lunch we retire to our room to fume about not having luggage.
We need something to wear for our little tour, though, so we walk across the street to the mall. Wow is all I can say in regards to the mall and its clothing selection. Took forever to find a pair of jeans that weren't butt ugly. Finally did and learned that their sizes are different when I took a size 7 into the dressing room and couldn't get it past my knees. Tried again with a 9 (no go) and an 11 (a bit snug but I refused to buy a 13). Lovey was having the same problems. We came away with a pair of jeans and a shirt each. I shall never wear those jeans again.
(I know this is getting long, but episode 1 is almost done, I promise.)
Later that evening, we went on a bus tour of the city. The bride's uncle owns a transportation company so it was no holds barred on the freaking bus. I couldn't finish a beer without being handed another one. We got to go up into the mountains and see the lights of Tegu which was pretty cool. We also saw some statues and such. We were shown where the US Embassy is (you know, in case we get in trouble).
Oh yeah, and how comfortable is it when the local police are making kissy noises at you? YUCK! Lovey was not pleased with that but fortunately didn't hear it when it happened and avoided an altercation. This is in the same area where we were told before we got off the bus to take off rings. HA! Safety at its finest.
That concludes our tour of the country and episode 1. Do Lovey and I get our luggage? Does Lovey fist fight Honduran police with AK-47s for hitting on me? Do we drink more beer? All these questions and more will be answered on the next episode. :-)
We packed our stuff in one bag and of course it didn't arrive and won't until tomorrow. Welcome to ho
After two hours of waiting in line!
Is the name of a Stephen King novel. There, I said it. On with the post.
Yesterday was a bad day to be in Miami. See Roboco's post about the crane collapse, there were break-ins that resulted in shootings, the road that I take to travel the 9 miles from the place I work to my home was shut down because of a very bad accident involving two motorcycles resulting in a 2 HOUR drive to get home and the side street on the way was clogged up because of another motorcycle crash in which an older guy laid it down and was laying in the street when I went past. Yikes, what a nightmare for Miami.
There are only a few things that I am afraid of. I mean, really afraid of. Needles are one and bats are another. Not like baseball bats, flying rats. Those nasty little buggers. I've never been a fan ever since one dive-bombed my head when I was walking home at dusk when I was around 10 years old. ACK!
When I lived in Mexico, there were bats everywhere. I was freaked out all the time heading back to my room. There were places I wouldn't walk because I knew they were hiding in there. Slightly irrational? Yes. I've seen them on the ground. I know how big they are. They're small. That doesn't make them any less yucky.
Last night I dreamt that one flew into the house when we left our sliding glass door open. This wasn't a small black bat. This thing was huge and brown. I think that's why I called it a coconut bat* in the dream. It was as big as a freaking coconut! Lovey shooshed it out of the house while I screamed. I woke up this morning thinking, man I'm glad we got that stupid bat out of the house. It was just that real.
* I don't think there's any such thing as a coconut bat.
Today, Kiddo goes to Mom's, thankfully not on American Airlines as I'm watching CNN and they just cancelled about 200 flights. Tomorrow, we leave the country! No, I'm not excited or anything. :-D
It's hump day, ya'll. Get your hump on! Have a great day! HEP.
What's the one thing you're most neurotic about?
Without question my teeth.
I love to brush them and I love my Sonciare toothbrush and I HATE the feeling of grunge on my teeth. I will spend 20 minutes in the bathroom just brushing and flossing. I have my own plaque scraper and I know how to use it.
And oh yeah, I've never had a cavity. EVER. And I love my dentist.
What talent do you have that you wish more people would recognize?
OH SNAP!
Is just being a bad-ass biznitch a talent? Cuz, fo' real, ya'll betta recognize!
Talent I should recognize? Being a good mommy and fiance.
Talent others should recognize? When I can focus long enough, I'm a pretty good writer. (I know, can't tell from my blog. :-P)
I'm a hella good bartender. I don't 'flair' and throw bottles and crap, but if you're the fourth deep in the bar, you better believe you're getting your drink on in the shortest amount of time possible. Don't wanna taste your booze? Got ya covered. Think I'm watering down your drink? After I bitch slap you I'll let you know that if you wanna go toe to toe with me, stop dancing and sweating it out faster than I can put it in and stand here with me. Then we'll see who's watered down. (Damn you Miami and your big boob to bartend requirement!)
Um, damn near professional smart-ass.
Oooh, yeah, and I'm a decent circus freak too. Not as bendy as I should be, but hey, gotta leave something to work on.
This is fun!
How about thinking for other people? I've become pretty good at that in the last <ahem> two years.
Did I go this long without discussing my, oh nevermind, that's just too obvious for the question posed.
Damn, I'm also a professional procrastinator. Get back to it, woman!
I'm slowly coming to the realization that there's no point in loathing things that I can't change. Therefore, future loathing lists will only contain things that I can work on to make better, mainly things about myself. I'm shooting for a more positive tip and all around better nattitude, thanks Dr. Victorine. So, without further ado, the list.
Today's loathes:
- My horrendous habit of procrastination
- The lack of focus I possess
- Sunburn. Must use sunscreen
Today's loves:
- I have my health, a roof over my head, food in my belly and people who love me
- Kiddo - the kid's just funny!
- Mom - she relieves me of my Mom dutes every once in a while so that I can have...
- A relaxing weekend out of the country with Lovey
- Lovey - without whom I would very likely be in a much worse situation (not that I'm in a bad one now)
- A four-day weekend in general
- Future Mom-in-law - she is always looking out for us and enable us to have an awesome summer vacation
- My friends spread far and wide
- My stretchy yoga feeling
- My Zumba sweaty feeling
- Having almost completed this week's classwork
- Four books I picked up at the library yesterday for casual reading this weekend
- Buying cute new shoes for the wedding
- Sirius 23 - Hair Nation
That's what I have for now. I've got to get back to work. So much to do, so little time. 2 days till vacation and 12 until it's once again time to fly. HEP!
Why do you think it is some people don't get along with you?
Really? Could be that my sense of humor is dark, dry and utterly sarcastic. Could be that my idea of jokes are some people's idea of mean. Maybe because, at times, the jokes I make are over their heads and that equals I'm being mean. Could be because I'm just a bitch at times.
Wait, no, cross out all those answers. Real answer = I don't care.
See? I am a bitch.
You know, because I don't Vox on weekends. Any old excuse will do.
Okay, if I don't get these things out, they'll be stuck in my head and they'll be in the way of doing my other stuff.
On commercials:
Yankeebob reminded me of this. If you aren't in Florida or Georgia or one of the three other states that has a Publix, then you will not have seen this commercial. Just so you know, Publix is a grocery store like your Winn-Dixie, Giant Eagle (pronounced Iggle), Albertsons, Kroger, whatever monstrous chain you have in your area. Their slogan is "Publix. Where shopping is a pleasure."
They do these commercials about family and family time and such and Lovey seemed to find this one to be amusing. It rotates around a black family and a woman who just married into the family. She has just returned from her honeymoon and is attending a family function. She is in someone's house and everyone is cooking and following recipes on beat up index cards. Her husband tries to peek at one of the cards and the woman holding it (presumably his sister) yanks it away.
Everyone is cooking away and ignoring this poor new addition to the family. Someone asks about her honeymoon and she starts to answer but gets pushed out of the way and all of a sudden, it's time to go to Big Momma's house. The food is being passed around and everyone is chowing down but the Noob still feels a little uncomfortable. Of course, the watchful eye of Big Momma sees this. After dinner is cleared (this all happens in about 30 seconds, mind you), BM brings out a cake and Hubby whispers to the Noob that 'that's the cake I was telling you about'. Three layers of yellow cake with fruit and whipped cream in the middle. Big whoop, wanna fight about it?
No one eats on camera and everyone is now leaving. BM is showing everyone the door and tells the Noob, "Welcome to the family." Noob gives her best fake smile and as she and Hubby walk away, Noob reaches into her pocket to find the recipe for the cake. AWWWWWWW!
Lovey found this commercial to be funny, bordering on dumb, but then again, Lovey ain't black. Kudos to whatever ad agency wrote that one up because it's pretty darn true. My Gram wouldn't write a recipe down. EVER. She took some great recipes to her grave. I'm the only one that can even get close to her mac and cheese because I would stand under her in the kitchen constantly. Does this part of the blog have an ending? No.
On wedding plans:
I am so not girly when it comes to this sort of thing. I've never wanted the white dress/church wedding. Ever since I can remember, I've been upsetting my mom with a 'why can't I get married in the back yard and have a BBQ' attitude. Last week, Lovey and I were briefly discussing getting married after watching a funny video. I mentioned that I wasn't into the whole thing and he said that he was fine with that. I did say, though, that if it was gonna be anything even remotely done-up, that I would want it to be at the Club Med here in Florida so it would be easier to gather my friends since they're scattered all over. Lovey happened to love that idea, hooray. So we didn't set a date, per se, but figured we'd do it before our big move out west. So, spring to early summer of 2010 is the date.
On to-do lists:
-
Return library books, pick up leisure reading
-
Buy Zumba videos for delivery upon our return
-
Pack Kiddo for a week at Gramma's
-
Pack us for weekend at
Bernie'sHonduras Intercontinental Hotel, Tegu -
Self-manicure
-
Buy shoes
-
Buy new foundation
-
Finish product descriptions before Mr. N kills me
-
Write a discussion for class
-
Write a paper for class
Okay, it isn't as bad as I thought, but I feel like I'm missing something. It all has to be done between work and sanity time and leaving work early on Wednesday to get Kiddo to the airport and our early departure on Thursday. Go me!
So, not that many will notice, but I'll be off the radar beginning Wednesday afternoon, returning Monday. I lurve a 3 day workweek. Peace out, ya'll. And, oh yeah, HEP!
